Family Funnies: Chapter One

Me and all my siblings, plus our families. 

As I mention in my profile, I'm one of eight children and growing up, things could get just a little bit crazy in the house. One thing I've noticed is that I formed a lot of my habits back then. For instance, I can take a shower so quickly, the bathroom doesn't even have time to get steamy. It was a necessary adaption because during my freshman year of high school, three other siblings also were in high school, and we all wanted to take showers in the morning. The boys were downstairs, and the girls upstairs, but the hot water tank was limited. If I took longer than about 3-4 minutes in the shower, I either faced a sibling's wrath when their shower was ice cold, or my own shower turned frigid--just about the time I needed to rinse all the conditioner out of my hair.

I also learned to bolt my meals like a hungry lion was chasing me down to steal it. See, if I wanted seconds, I'd have to beat my older brothers to them. That didn't happen often, but in a way, that was a blessing, as I was thin as a child. Although it's a good thing we didn't live in wild because I would have become a victim of the law of Survival of the Fittest.  Unfortunately, I still practice fast eating to get seconds, only now it's not necessary because I'm the cook and I make way more food than we can usually eat. However, if the apocalypse arrives tomorrow, I will outlast all the skinny people.

Okay, so I titled this Family Funnies and I haven't mentioned the funny stuff yet. Here's one story about how my little sister, Jane, embarrassed me at my high school graduation party. She was seven and I was seventeen.  My best friend, DeeDee (who is still my BFF!) and I were talking to a couple of guys we had met a few months before. I'm pretty sure we had crushes on the guys. So, we're chatting, and in my case, I was probably trying to flirt a little only I never did really learn how to flirt. I mostly just stood  around and smiled while I was thinking all kinds of clever things to say that never made it out of my mouth.

My cute, adorable little sister comes out from the bathroom and stands by me. I look down and I'm horrified to see that she has a large Maxi-Pad tied onto her arm. It was her 'cast'. I'm sure my face reflected my horror and my mouth probably gaped like a stranded fish. DeeDee, bless her, snatched the pad off Jane's arm and put it behind her back. Or somewhere. To this day, I don't know if the cute guys saw it, or if they even realized what it was. 

My sister has confessed that when she was little, she had no idea what Maxi-Pads were, and thought of them as great additions to her Barbie accessories. They made comfy mattresses for her dolls, and when the ones with wings came out, they converted into sleeping bags! If only Kotex had known. They could have expanded their business.

More stories to come.